Because I'm Fucking Worth It
A humorous tale of self-belief.
I don’t know if L’Oreal still uses that advertising slogan. An excellent way to put value into a brand. It stuck in my mind and I don’t buy a whole lot of ladies stuff.
When I worked for a living — the 9 to 5 thing — I charged clients for the pleasure of my smiling face and easy-going manner. At some point I woke up to money. Think what you’re worth and add a percentage. Reach higher. Mostly it works.
I don’t work for a living now. I work for a pittance.
I write here for cents. I design t-shirts for more cents. Why didn’t I choose a side-hustle that paid dollars? Because I’m a fucking idiot that’s why. And anyway, that’s not so easy.
When I worked for a living — the 9 to 5 thing — I charged clients for the pleasure of my smiling face and easy-going manner. At some point I woke up to money. Think what you’re worth and add a percentage. Reach higher. Mostly it works.
I don’t work for a living now. I work for a pittance.
I write here for cents. I design t-shirts for more cents. Why didn’t I choose a side-hustle that paid dollars? Because I’m a fucking idiot that’s why. And anyway, that’s not so easy.
My main income comes from Amazon. T-shirt sales. Black t-shirts. There is other stuff but let’s focus on them. Amazon have a recommended price. I set my prices below that. Clever, huh? Marketing fucking genius — that’s what I am.
Price low, sell high. Did they mean t-shirts or baked beans? Fucked if I know.
And bollocks to that. It hasn’t worked. Every year I spend a month or so tinkering with prices and advertising costs. Then I spend another month setting everything back as it was. Seriously. A month. Lot of products to tinker with.
Today I started my annual tinkering. But this time, thanks to L’Oreal, I have that slogan in my head. Because I’m fucking worth it.
Price low, sell high. Did they mean t-shirts or baked beans? Fucked if I know.
And bollocks to that. It hasn’t worked. Every year I spend a month or so tinkering with prices and advertising costs. Then I spend another month setting everything back as it was. Seriously. A month. Lot of products to tinker with.
Today I started my annual tinkering. But this time, thanks to L’Oreal, I have that slogan in my head. Because I’m fucking worth it.
There are two entities in my equation. There’s me, a clueless fucking tosser, who hasn’t the first idea about marketing, pricing, customer satisfuckingfaction and so on. And there’s Amazon.
If you were to stop a man in the street and say “Mark Ewbie or Amazon?” they would ignore you. Raise a quizzical eyebrow. Make excuses. Punch you in the face.
If the same man were to go home and buy a t-shirt, where would he go? L’Oreal? No, that’s confusing. Amazon of course.
He would look at the designs and choose one he liked. Would he say “Fuck me, that’s fucking ridiculously overpriced, I’m not paying that for a piece of crap designed by a twat?” Maybe. He can fuck off to Temu then.
Would he ignore the price and buy the one he wanted? Maybe that too. I’m not a fucking marketing genius. But I know who is.
Amazon.
They have suggested price points. Have they guessed at them and written a number on the back of an envelope? Probably not.
If you were to stop a man in the street and say “Mark Ewbie or Amazon?” they would ignore you. Raise a quizzical eyebrow. Make excuses. Punch you in the face.
If the same man were to go home and buy a t-shirt, where would he go? L’Oreal? No, that’s confusing. Amazon of course.
He would look at the designs and choose one he liked. Would he say “Fuck me, that’s fucking ridiculously overpriced, I’m not paying that for a piece of crap designed by a twat?” Maybe. He can fuck off to Temu then.
Would he ignore the price and buy the one he wanted? Maybe that too. I’m not a fucking marketing genius. But I know who is.
Amazon.
They have suggested price points. Have they guessed at them and written a number on the back of an envelope? Probably not.
Somewhere, not far from here, is a fucking idiot who has fucked about with pricing since they started this game, several years ago. Every year, months of effort, tweaking them and worrying if 50 cents will be too much for my precious customer. Concerned that my efforts are not as good as the others, so if I price them a bit lower maybe they will sell.
Not any longer. Today, for the next month or so, I am resetting my pricing to the recommended price-point. And that will be that.
You know why?
Because I’m fucking worth it.
Thanks L’Oreal.
Next time you’re having doubts about your own self-worth, put them to one side. Because you’re fucking worth it, too.
Not any longer. Today, for the next month or so, I am resetting my pricing to the recommended price-point. And that will be that.
You know why?
Because I’m fucking worth it.
Thanks L’Oreal.
Next time you’re having doubts about your own self-worth, put them to one side. Because you’re fucking worth it, too.