For fun egg puns, jokes and anything humorous to do with eggs, this eggspertly assembled page should satisfy all your egg humor needs.  

The jokes have no eggspiry date and there are way more than a dozen.

Some people may say "It's only changing the ex words into egg words".  Ignore them.  ​Their minds are scrambled, the yolk is on them and they are cracking up.

Here are some eggsamples.

What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An eggoholic.

If that isn't the finest example of egg punning you can mix me up in a salad and serve with French dressing.  Speaking of which - here is a French egg pun.

How many French eggs do you need?
​One egg is un oeuf.

One more.  Favorite drink?
Eggspresso.
​
For egg puns that can't be beaten, read on.

an egg walked into a bar - what a mess
anti global egg warming - Eggstinction Rebellion
bad day for eggs - Friday (fried day)

biggest eggs in the US - Teggsas
​Dickens novel - Great Eggspectations
​​eggs leave Europe - Breggsit

​eggskimos live in eggloos
egg transport - SwEGGway
egg won't come out of his shell - eggrophobic

eggs going up again - that'll surprise a few chickens
failed escape - drat, boiled again
​floating eggs - seashells

go faster - eggcelerate
great place to live - Yolklahoma
I may be cracked but at least I got laid

intelligent eggs pass all their eggsams
odd behavior - eggcentric
perfect egg is beyond repoach

pregnant hen - eggspectant
self-obsessed egg is an eggomaniac
​someone who only eats eggs - veggan

​Space Eggs - sending a rocket to Mars
sporty eggs do eggsercise
​steal eggs from the gamekeeper - poach them

take a photo - shellfie
talent show - Eggs Factor
the "Ooh-Aah" bird lays square eggs

​that's all yolks!

A curate's egg - good in parts but mostly bad
A good egg - a decent person
All your eggs in one basket - spread the risk

Egg on his face - someone made a mess of things
Egg someone on - encourage them, often to do something stupid
Egghead - brainy person

Eggy - annoyed, wound up and aggravated
Half a dozen eggs - popular expression for buying six eggs
Like teaching grandma to suck eggs - she already knows

​Over-egging the pudding - make more of something than it really is
​Treading on eggshells - you need to be careful and cautious
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs - yep

Arnold Schwarzenegger - the EggsTerminator
Eggy Pop - punk rock star with a lust for eggs
​Ellen DeGGeneres - funny egg past its sell-by

Humpty Dumpty - he really was an egg!
Jack and Meg White - White Stripes
Kim Kardeggian - cracked the internet

Lady EgGa - beautiful plumage
Malcom Eggs - political activist
​Meg Ryan - actress and good egg

​Megghan Markle - married Prince Harry
The Eggles - rock out in Eggshell California
Yolky Ono - artist

Easter is a special time in the Christian calendar for making terrible egg jokes.  Millions of children are given billions of chocolate eggs.  The Easter Bunny works hard so we can enjoy a long weekend off.

Parents organise Easter Egg Hunts by hiding chocolate eggs around the garden with amusing Treasure Hunt clues.

"You will be EGGcited to find me near the trash bin"
"I am lying down EGGhausted behind the big bush"

The children look for the eggs.  After two hours of standing in the rain you may need to firmly push the child in the right direction while shouting words of encouragement.

Older kids will have more fun with a rifle and target eggs.  This may leave the younger eggs shell-shocked.  Cheer them up with an egg and spoon race.

Caseggblanca - of all the eggs in the world you walked over mine
Gone With The Wind - can happen if you eat too many eggs
Meggtropolis - futuristic egg world

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Egg - egg loses his marbles
Raging Egg - hard-boiled egg takes on the world of boxing
Snow White and the Seven Eggs - some people are born greedy

The Eggpire Strikes Back - feed the force
The Eggqualiser - hard-boiled egg gets even
​The Martian - man takes chicken to Mars, eats eggs for four years

​The Shawshank Eggxemption - innocent egg tries to eggscape from prison
The Wizard of Egg - costume drama featuring wicked egg-whisk
Verteggo - egg climbs way too high

In Gulliver's Travels (Jonathan Swift 1726) there are two societies permanently at war with each other.  The key reason is which end they choose to break their boiled egg.

One faction prefers the big end, the other the small end.  He calls them Big-Endians and Little-Endians.

Gulliver wrote this element of his satire to ridicule the differences between Catholics and Protestants.  It is a superb example for all of humanity's pointless fighting, especially the political kind.

Enjoy your eggs.  Leave pointless arguments to others.

Here is a short list of suggestions for naming your egg.

Benedict, Boyle, Degmond, Elizabegg, Egna, Egward, Egbert, Eggy, Freg, Freggy, Fregerick, Layla, Meg, Meghan, Mohammegg, Peg, Peggy, Poachy, Rebegga, Reggie, Shelby, Sheldon, Shelley, Yolko

eggBay - second hand eggs
​EggOnYourFaceBook - for egg friends and family
EggedIn - come out of your shell for a new career

Geggle - search the web for eggs
Insteggram - egg shellfies
OnlyEggs - show off your eggs

​Reggit - like Reddit for eggy content
Twitter (now called X) - Tweet to your eggy mates

Beat It - Michael Jackson
Born Too Runny - Bruce Springsteen
​Gimme Shellter - Rolling Stones

​How Do You Like Your Eggs In The Morning - Dean Martin
I Am The Walrus - Beatles
Lay Lady Lay - Bob Dylan

Son-of-A Poacher Man - Dusty Springfield

Here are some handy words for making egg puns.

beat, boil, crack, egg, fried, laid, lay, poach, runny, scramble, shell, yolk

And all these egg words!

Easy Over...
Eggcellent, eggcite, eggsact, eggsam, eggsample, eggsist, eggspect, eggsplain, eggstreme

Hard boiled...
Eggsponential, eggsaggerate, eggsistential, eggsonerate, eggsterminate, eggstraordinary, eggstrapolate

Real words...
Egg, eggcup, egged, egghead, eggnog, eggplant, eggshell, eggy, beggar, begged, leggy, pegged, reggae, veggie.

That is enough egg puns.  Time to crack on with the rest of the day before our brains get too fried or scrambled.

​Have an eggcellent one!