Welcome to a collection of fart-related witty puns, clever humor, and more besides.

Let’s dive into the world of flatulence with some windy puns.

a fart in the hand is worth two in the bush​
aggressive farting - gaslighting
burial for ex-farter - paid respects to the dearly defarted

​bystanders enveloped in fart cloud - coflatural damage
call out to a departing fart - flat-u-later
cook food that gives you wind - gastronomy
​
creative nonsense - arty-farty
cut the cheese and feel the breeze
fart delivered - fartogram

fart in increasing amounts - excremental
farting in lifts is wrong on so many levels
​farting rockers - gastric band

farty tennis - ping-pong
fear of farting in high places - fartigo
​freshen up a toilet with pooh pourri

nice fart - conflatulations
political farters - full of hot air
smelly store - Walfart

someone who maps farts - fartographer
special room for farting - toot suite
study of farts - fartology

trod on a fart - stepped on the gas
​​two farts in love - inflatulated
when the gas is right, let it ignite

​A sophisticated dinner party and the guests have enjoyed an excellent meal with relaxed and intelligent conversation.

A male guest lets out a triumphant loud and prolonged fart.  The man of the house is appalled.

"How dare you fart in front of my wife" he says.
"Sorry" says guest.  "I didn't know it was her turn".

A little gas goes a long way
Better out than in
Blow your own trumpet

​Cut the cheese
Don't fart around
Ease and squeeze

​Farty on dude
Full of hot air
Gas up and go

He who smelt it... dealt it
Let one rip
Silent but violent

Thar she blows
The winds of change

Fart Simpson - The Simpsons
Fartacus - gladiator
Fartful Dodger - Oliver Twist character

Fartastic Four - superheroes
Mary Ploppins - flatulent British nanny
Poo Fighters - rock band

​​Rene DesFartes - philosopher
Saint Fartholomew - patron Saint of farting
Tootankhamun - Pharaoh

The Fart and the Furious - fast cars
The Fartist - silent movie, cute dog
Fartastic Four - comic book plots

​The Fartian - man eats too many potatoes
The GodFarter - Mafia stuff
The Shape of Farts - cloud shaped mostly

​Windy Woman - superhero

Air biscuit – A silent but deadly fart.
Backfire – When a fart surprises you with its sound.
Crop dusting – Farting while walking through a crowd.
​
Dutch oven – Trapping someone under the covers after farting.
Gastronaut – A person who excels in the art of farting.
Silent but deadly – A quiet fart with a potent odor.

Why should you never fart in an apple store? They don’t have windows.
What’s invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts.
Why do farts smell? So that deaf people can enjoy them too.

Why did the fart cross the road? To get to the other gas station.
Why was the fart sad? Because it was feeling deflated.

I had been eating baked beans and hazelnuts all evening and the gas built up.  I bent over, farted and a hazelnut shot out and killed the cat.

If you feel a fart approaching here is a great trick to play on people.  Suitable for any occasion - school, weddings, family get togethers.

Choose an innocent stooge and ask them to pull your finger.  If they have not been a victim to this before they will look puzzled.  Offer them a finger, point at them basically, and as they pull it do your best loud fart.

If you misjudge this and soil yourself then the joke is on you.

Beans Beans the Musical Fruit – Traditional
Life's A Gas - T Rex
​Just The Poo Of Us - Bill Withers

Plop Muzik - M
​The Pong and Windy Road - Beatles (Let It Be)
Total Eclipse of the Fart - Bonnie Tyler

A man and woman are talking.  Our man lets a snorter go.  As the smell wafts towards the woman she says "Stop that" to the man.

The man, eager to be helpful, says "Sure.  Which way did it go?"

Went to pick up new girlfriend from her parent's house.  Invited in to living room.  Sat on chair next to large dog.

I could feel some gas building.  No chance of keeping it in so I let a bit go.  It was a bad one. The mother said "Come here Rover".

Phew.  She blamed the dog.  I let a little bit more out.

"Come HERE Rover" she said again.

It seemed safe to let the lot go so I emptied the rest of it into the room.

"COME HERE ROVER" she said, "Before he craps on you as well".

A few handy words for emergency fart-punning.  Perhaps to make a joke when one sneaks out in a lift.

air, blame, blast, blow, break wind, breeze, cut, fart, flatulence, gas, gust, methane, plop, pong, poo, rip, smell, stinky, toot, whiff, wind

Thanks for breezing through our page of fart puns!  We have exhausted all the gas on this page.  It was a relief to let it out.  

There is other content of a more fragrant variety on this site.  Leave the window open as you exit this page and it will be pleasant for new arrivals.