A collection of puns, jokes and wordplay on the subject of ghosts.

First a word from our official spooksman.

Booyah!

Recommended as "Scarily good" by the Washington Ghost.

​Here are some fangtastic puns and jokes for ghost fans.

acting ghost - great stage presence
baby ghosts go to dayscare centers
biographers - ghost-writers

BOOmer - old ghost who is always moaning
​cross Bambi with a ghost and get Bamboo
dead goat - Billy Ghost

​exhausted ghost "That was my first ectoplasm"
favorite treat - ice scream
ghost audiences are always booing

ghosts can't sing - they got no soul
ghosts make poor liars - you can see straight through them
ghost went to the doctor - he said "I can't see you now"

ghost who scares chickens - poultry-geist
ghostly bird - sea-ghoul
graveyard spring-cleaning - ​Ghost Dusters​

guitar ghosts play the 12 bar boos
Hungarian Halloween recipe - ghoulash
it's party time - bring your own boos

keep fit and exorcise
​Langley must be haunted, it's full of spooks
look up an ex-ghoulfriend and visit old haunts

party-time - bring your own boos
phantom sacked for ghost misconduct
remember, some bars don't serve spirits

Russian ghosts spend time in the ghoulag
Santa ghost brings the presence
​​scary fruit - boonana

scary reindeer - cariboo
search for spirits on Pokemon Ghost
short-sighted ghosts wear spectercles

skyscraper graves - get a tomb with a view
travel on a ghost train
​what do you call a ghost on the ceiling?  High-spirited

​wolves on 31st of October - Howl-o-een

Ghost poster - someone banned from a forum or social media without realizing
Ghost town - a place that was once thriving but is now an empty shell
Given up the ghost - died
​
​Not a ghost of a chance - no chance at all
You look like you just saw a ghost - when someone looks shocked, surprised or scared

Names of people that sound like ghosts

Ghouly Andrews - actress / singer Sound of Music
Seance Bean - actor
Boodica - ghostly Celtic queen

Inspectre Clouseau - Peter Sellers comic character
​Matt Demon - actor
Spook Dogg - rapper

Scary Grant - actor
Tomb Hanks - actor
Boo Marley - his spirit lives on

​Meryl Shriek - scary actress
Steven Spellberg - film producer
Wraith Witherspoon - actress

Some of these are scary, some are fun

Beetlejuice - do NOT say his name
Casper - cute little ghost
Ghost - the one with the potter's wheel

Ghost Rider - watch out sinners
Ghostbusters - don't cross the streams
Poltergeist - haunting horror, scary

​The Muppet Xmas Carol - past, present and future ghost fun
The Shining - Here's Johnny
The Sixth Sense - Bruce Willis with a twist

All Hallow's Eve occurs on the 31st October each year.

Pumpkins are decorated by cutting a face out of them and putting a candle inside.  Some people light the candle.  These are called "Jack O' Lanterns" ​.

​In some neighbourhoods children "Trick or Treat".  The idea being to threaten people in a fun way until they give you a treat.

Sensible home-owners will buy a stock of chocolate and candy goodies to give to children when they come knocking.  This will help ward off the evil spirits or little devils.

Halloween is a night for staying up late, eating treats until you are sick, behaving badly and listening to scary stories.  

And it is great for children too.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
If you're going to cry I won't tell you

Fat pumpkin - plumpkin
Bouncing one - jumpkin
Country relative - bumpkin

If it goes flat use a bicycle pumpkin
Don't celebrate Halloween - grumpkins
​German fairy tale - Pumpelstiltskin

Divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter to get pumpkin Pi

eBoo - second hand ghosts
Boogle - ghostly searches
BooTube - fun videos

FaceBoo - stay in touch with old haunts
InstaGhost - supernatural selfies
OnlyGhosts - for guys and ghouls

Scareddit - drop links to fellow ghosts
Spookchat - more selfies
SpookedIn - scary career moves

​Washington Ghost - for news and views

Ghostbusters - who ya gonna call?
Ghost Town - Specials
Halloween Parade - Lou Reed

Monster Mash - live TV with Bobby Pickett
​Spooky - Atlanta Rhythm Section
​Thriller - Jackson

​​Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon

Here is a collection of words for making up your own puns.

apparition, boo, coffin, ghost, ghoul, grave, Halloween, haunt, howl, phantom, poltergeist, presence, scary, scream, shriek, specter, spirit, spook, tomb, wraith

Boo - that's sad.  
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It is time for this ghost writer to climb back into his coffin and wait until the next witching hour.  The alarm is set for 364 days.

Until then - happy ghost punning!