Welcome to a collection of witty puns, clever humor, and a whole lot more besides.

Let's mine through these golden nuggets and see what treasures we can uncover.

Accused, covered in gold, pleads "not gildy"
Banker lost my gold - said it wasn't his vault
Bullion Bugs Bunny eats carats

Buying cheap gold might be fool’s gold
Comic is deadpanning for comedy gold
Concentrating on gold - ooh look, shiny thing

Gold bugs - members of the glitterati
Gold mining? Seams like a good idea
Gold on plants? Talk about gilding the lily

Golden goose lays chicken nuggets
Grateful goldbug - thanks a bullion
Hunky gold bar has an aurum about him

Jeweler calls himself Lord of the Rings
Lost all my gold - dagnugget
Rich gold-collector - a bullionaire

Sugar on gold? That's a nougat nugget
​Vaudeville gold - assay, assay, assay
​Veggie standard? Pure 24 carrot

Talk to your gold - coin a phrase
The gold's revolting, it's a rebullion
When gold bars bond together, they form alloyship

​Writing about gold? That's glitterature
You OK? -​ I'm golden mate

An ounce of gold stretches 50 miles.
Your body contains tiny amounts of gold.
Termites can create gold deposits.

all that glitters is not gold - beware of shiny things
gold bug - loves gold
​gold digger - they only want your money

Gold Rush - California and the Forty Niners (1849)
golden handshake – a large goodbye payment
golden opportunity – an excellent chance

good as gold – well-behaved kids
heart of gold – a good person
​speech is silver and silence is golden - ah, peace

strike gold – to make it rich
worth its weight in gold – extremely valuable

Goldfinger – James Bond villain
Goldie Hawn - comic actress
Goldilocks - of Three Bears fame

​Goldman Sachs - the Vampire Squid
Rumpelstiltskin – spun straw into gold
​Whoopi Goldberg - comedy actress

Golden Balls - UK TV game show
"Goldfinger" – James Bond's famous gold-obsessed adversary
"Goldmember" - The Austin Powers spoof

"The Gold Rush" – Charlie Chaplin’s iconic silent film
"Fool’s Gold" – romantic comedy with treasure hunting
"Jason and the Argonauts" - Jason's quest for a Golden Fleece

Gold is the most malleable metal; one gram can be hammered into a square meter.
It’s believed that almost all of the gold on Earth came from meteorites.
The largest gold nugget ever found weighed over 200 pounds.

eBar - get your gold cheap, not really
FaceBullion - keep up with friendly investors
Goldazon – shop for gold with ease

GoldenTube – watch videos of panning and prospecting
Goldgle - search for a pot of gold
Instagold - golden selfies

LinkedIngot - a career in trading gold
OnlyGold - golden showers
PinterGold – pin your favorite golden jewelry ideas

​​SnapCarat - pics of gold with amusing captions
SpotPriceify - songs about how much your hoard is worth

“The Gold Bug” – Edgar Allan Poe
"The Golden Compass" – Philip Pullman
“The Man with the Golden Arm” – Nelson Algren
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"Gold Coast" – Elmore Leonard
“Gold Boy, Emerald Girl” – Yiyun Li
“Gold Fame Citrus” – Claire Vaye Watkins

King Midas could turn everything he touched to gold.

That sounds like the spam adverts where investment people promise to turn your hard-earned savings into money mountains.

But Midas was for real, or a real Greek myth at least.

Sadly not all that glitters, etc.  As everything he touched turned to gold poor King Midas ruined his life.

You win some - you lose some.

In Greek mythology, King Midas turned everything he touched into gold.
The El Dorado legend speaks of a city made entirely of gold.
In Irish folklore, leprechauns hide their pots of gold at the end of rainbows.

Golden Eagle – Large bird of prey
Golden Retriever – Dog breed
Goldfish – Common pet fish
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Goldfinch – Small songbird
Gold Nugget – Naturally occurring form of gold
Golden Lion Tamarin – monkey

“All that glitters is not gold.” – Shakespeare
“Gold is the money of kings.” – Bill Still
“Gold, like the sun, melts away all that is not of itself.” – Unknown
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“Gold is a way of going beyond time.” – Terence McKenna
“Everything has its limit—iron ore cannot be educated into gold.” – Mark Twain
“A bar of gold makes the world a better place.” – Unknown

Band of Gold - Freda Payne
Fields of Gold – Sting
Gold – Spandau Ballet

​Gold Digger - Kanye West
​Golden Brown - Stranglers
Goldfinger - Shirley Bassey

​Heart of Gold – Neil Young
​Silence is Golden - The Tremeloes
There's Gold In Them Thar Hills - Frankie Marvin

A gold sovereign is a symbol of tangible value.  It is something you can hold in your hand - away from the tax man.  It is a real item rather than numbers on a bank statement or the latest share price.

It is almost a rebellious gesture to put your hard-earned money into something you can actually hold instead of allowing others to make money from your savings.  After the banking crash of 2008 there are few institutions that retain much trust.

Gold. For when you want to invest in something real.  This is not financial advice, blah, blah, etc.

The oceans contain about 20 million tons of gold.
The world’s largest gold bar weighs 250 kg.
Gold is so soft, you can dent it with your teeth.

Gold Coast – A region in Australia
El Dorado – Legendary city of gold, South America
California – The Golden State, USA
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Yukon – Famous for its gold rush, Canada
Witwatersrand – Major gold deposit, South Africa
Dubai – Known for its Gold Souk market, UAE

A set of handy words for making puns about gold.

alloy, assay, aurum, bullion, carat, coin, gild, gold, golden, ingot, karat, metal, mine, mining, nugget, ore, precious, shiny, treasure, vault, yellow

Oh dear.  All the gold puns seem to have melted away.

Nothing lasts forever.  Except gold of course.

There is more gold on this site, just not the metal kind.