Funny Hair Puns!
A page of puns and humorous wordplay about hair, hairdressing and anything else of a hairy nature.
Hair has been around almost as long as human beings. Fashion may change but hair in the right places is always popular.
Instead of curling up with a fashion magazine or spending three hours to straighten an unruly strand of hair - sit back and enjoy a few hair-filled moments and hair-raising tales.
They may be cuttings swept from the floor but stick them on with a bit of glue and no one will tell the difference.
Judging by the punning names hairdressing salons use to advertise themselves there is plenty of mileage in hair, styling and accessories to build something that is a cut above.
From films through songs, expressions and jokes - there is something for everyone from the happily hairy to the boldly bald.
Here are the puns.
Hair has been around almost as long as human beings. Fashion may change but hair in the right places is always popular.
Instead of curling up with a fashion magazine or spending three hours to straighten an unruly strand of hair - sit back and enjoy a few hair-filled moments and hair-raising tales.
They may be cuttings swept from the floor but stick them on with a bit of glue and no one will tell the difference.
Judging by the punning names hairdressing salons use to advertise themselves there is plenty of mileage in hair, styling and accessories to build something that is a cut above.
From films through songs, expressions and jokes - there is something for everyone from the happily hairy to the boldly bald.
Here are the puns.
Puns
Bach's orchestral suite for lap dancing "Hair on the G String"
Baldilocks - the less popular Goldilocks sequel
beehive hairdo needs a honeycomb
cheap wig - small price toupée
drank hair coloring - dyeing inside
funny hair at the Edinburgh Fringe
groom cool cats with a catacomb
hairbrushes like this page - they keep combing back
hairdresser's favorite sport - curling
hairpiece for ears - earwig
hairy drink - frizzy pop
hairy nut - mustachio
keep in trim with hairobics
on the sand with a hairbrush - beachcomber
Rasta scared of the hairdresser - dreads
religious group for the unkempt - Hairy Krishna
royal wig - hair apparent
shaggy dog left a shampoo on the floor
Shakespeare wig - toupée or not toupée
sheikh who kept ladies in a stylists shop - hairem
singing hairdressers - barbershop
wig nonsense - balderdash
witty hairdresser makes cutting remarks
Baldilocks - the less popular Goldilocks sequel
beehive hairdo needs a honeycomb
cheap wig - small price toupée
drank hair coloring - dyeing inside
funny hair at the Edinburgh Fringe
groom cool cats with a catacomb
hairbrushes like this page - they keep combing back
hairdresser's favorite sport - curling
hairpiece for ears - earwig
hairy drink - frizzy pop
hairy nut - mustachio
keep in trim with hairobics
on the sand with a hairbrush - beachcomber
Rasta scared of the hairdresser - dreads
religious group for the unkempt - Hairy Krishna
royal wig - hair apparent
shaggy dog left a shampoo on the floor
Shakespeare wig - toupée or not toupée
sheikh who kept ladies in a stylists shop - hairem
singing hairdressers - barbershop
wig nonsense - balderdash
witty hairdresser makes cutting remarks
Hair Stylist Gifts >>
Expressions
bad hair day - when it won't behave
bald facts - the simple truth of the matter
bigwig - important person
blonde moment - temporary lapse of brain
close shave - a narrow escape
hairy - a scary thing
hairy eyeball - to narrow eyes when staring at someone
hair of the dog - a drink taken to help with a hangover
hair raising - scary event
two bald men fighting over a comb - pointless argument
bald facts - the simple truth of the matter
bigwig - important person
blonde moment - temporary lapse of brain
close shave - a narrow escape
hairy - a scary thing
hairy eyeball - to narrow eyes when staring at someone
hair of the dog - a drink taken to help with a hangover
hair raising - scary event
two bald men fighting over a comb - pointless argument
Two Bald Men Fighting Over A Comb Gifts >>
Famous People
Baldrick - Black Adder sidekick
Haircut 100 - eighties band
Hair Hitler - 1940s stylist
Lady Godiva - rode a horse naked with only long hair for modesty
Madame de Pompadour - chief mistress of Louis XV
Medusa - she had snakes instead of hair
Plaito - Greek philosopher and barber
Rapunzel - Princess with long hair trapped in a tower
Samson - Hebrew bible star - cut hair, never worked again
Scissor Sisters - pop band
Split Enz - New Zealand rock band
Sweeney Todd - demon barber of Fleet Street
Wiggy Pop - punk singer
Haircut 100 - eighties band
Hair Hitler - 1940s stylist
Lady Godiva - rode a horse naked with only long hair for modesty
Madame de Pompadour - chief mistress of Louis XV
Medusa - she had snakes instead of hair
Plaito - Greek philosopher and barber
Rapunzel - Princess with long hair trapped in a tower
Samson - Hebrew bible star - cut hair, never worked again
Scissor Sisters - pop band
Split Enz - New Zealand rock band
Sweeney Todd - demon barber of Fleet Street
Wiggy Pop - punk singer
Films
Barberella - Jane Fonda and the orgasmatron
Brush Hour - Jackie Chan
Hot Frizz - Simon Pegg zombie rom-com
No Time To Dye - James Bond
Brush Hour - Jackie Chan
Hot Frizz - Simon Pegg zombie rom-com
No Time To Dye - James Bond
Hair Styles
Afro - curly hair ideal for topiarists
Beards - beards today, clean shave tomorrow
Buzz cut - reduce grooming time
Comb over - brush remaining hair over a bald patch
Curls - buy straighteners
Croydon facelift - hair pulled back into a tight bun
Dreads - Rasta, Bob Marley and reggae
Long Hair - hippies, rock gods, new age travelers and Jesus
Mohican - punk rock, Pistols and anarchy
Mop top - the Beatles, mods
Mullet - seventies footballers and their followers
Skinhead - right wing then two-tone
Straight hair - buy curlers
Beards - beards today, clean shave tomorrow
Buzz cut - reduce grooming time
Comb over - brush remaining hair over a bald patch
Curls - buy straighteners
Croydon facelift - hair pulled back into a tight bun
Dreads - Rasta, Bob Marley and reggae
Long Hair - hippies, rock gods, new age travelers and Jesus
Mohican - punk rock, Pistols and anarchy
Mop top - the Beatles, mods
Mullet - seventies footballers and their followers
Skinhead - right wing then two-tone
Straight hair - buy curlers
Scary Barber Sweeney Todd Gifts >>
Jokes
Places hair can grow - US, Europe, UK, anywhere really
Antique wig-making machine is a family hair loom
They are not cutting hair any longer in my local salon. They are cutting it shorter instead.
Hairdresser: Did you come here to dye?
Customer: No, I came here yesterdye
Antique wig-making machine is a family hair loom
They are not cutting hair any longer in my local salon. They are cutting it shorter instead.
Hairdresser: Did you come here to dye?
Customer: No, I came here yesterdye
Names for Bald People
In these gentle times we refer to them as follically challenged. That is a bit long to shout at a bald-headed twit in order to attract their attention. It could also be misheard as phallically challenged, a whole different ball game.
Slaphead is an affectionate Old English term of endearment.
Other possible names are Archibald or Theobald. Even Baldric.
A good way to engage a bald person in conversation, if you can't otherwise avoid them, is to ask if they starred in Breaking Bald.
If that goes well suggest they get rabbit tattoos on their head. "From a distance it will look like hairs"
Slaphead is an affectionate Old English term of endearment.
Other possible names are Archibald or Theobald. Even Baldric.
A good way to engage a bald person in conversation, if you can't otherwise avoid them, is to ask if they starred in Breaking Bald.
If that goes well suggest they get rabbit tattoos on their head. "From a distance it will look like hairs"
Social Hairdressers
eBald - buy used wigs
FrizzBook - tell friends and family about hair trouble
Instagroom - influencers tell you how to brush your hair
SlapChat - amusing pics of baldies with captions
Wiggypedia - all the information you are likely to require
YouTrim - video tutorials
FrizzBook - tell friends and family about hair trouble
Instagroom - influencers tell you how to brush your hair
SlapChat - amusing pics of baldies with captions
Wiggypedia - all the information you are likely to require
YouTrim - video tutorials
Songs
Comb Together - Beatles
Nutbrush City Limits - Ike & Tina Turner
Something in the Hair - Thunderclap Newman
The Final Cut - Pink Floyd
Nutbrush City Limits - Ike & Tina Turner
Something in the Hair - Thunderclap Newman
The Final Cut - Pink Floyd
Hair Drying Gifts >>
Words for Making Hair Puns
Handy words for making puns about hair.
bald, barber, beard, brush, comb, curl, cut, dye, frizz, groom, hair, haircut, hairdresser, hairy, salon, shampoo, shave, toupée, trim, wig
bald, barber, beard, brush, comb, curl, cut, dye, frizz, groom, hair, haircut, hairdresser, hairy, salon, shampoo, shave, toupée, trim, wig
Hair Today - Gone Tomorrow
A parting is such sweet sorrow.
In time this page will grow a full head of beautiful hair, plus beard and some nostril stuff.
It will be trimmed back into a tight cropped bun of puns which are well worth a visit.
Please check your hair in the mirror, smile, and leave a small tip on the counter.
In time this page will grow a full head of beautiful hair, plus beard and some nostril stuff.
It will be trimmed back into a tight cropped bun of puns which are well worth a visit.
Please check your hair in the mirror, smile, and leave a small tip on the counter.