A collection of horse puns and related humorous content to canter through.

If you are in a hurry, don't worry or stirrup trouble - we won't be here furlong.

Let's get the bit between the teeth, jump in the saddle and hack our way through.

​Here are the puns.

awkward horse can be a bit of a mare
computer whizz-kid in the saddle - happy hacker
​equestrian theatre - horseplay

exercise your horse with some hayrobics
​half horse half man is the Centaur of attention
horse diva is the mane attraction

horse in their boxes - neighbors
mare getting hitched wears a bridle gown
old horses can retire to a gaited community

pretty filly is hot to trot
Scots ponies enjoy their annual hoofenanny
​stable wedding - bridle and groom

​surprise winner was a dark horse
two bonkers horses - a foaly a deux
uncomplicated horse - oat so simple

unmarried couple are living out of fetlock
​who goes there - friend or foal
working horses on the Gallopagos Islands

Bit between your teeth -  ready to go
Cart before the horse - wrong way round, obviously
Don't change horses in midstream - stick with the plan

Four horsemen of the apocalypse - death, famine, war and conquest
​Horse to water - ain't happening
Horses for courses - choose the right one

No good closing the stable door after the horse has bolted
​One horse race - that's the one to put your money on
​​​Pony and trap - Cockney rhyming slang - you work it out

Black Beauty - Anna Sewell book
​Boxer - from Animal Farm
Al Capony - gangster

Thomas Equinas - Italian priest
Lady GeeGee - singer
Lady Godiva - bareback rider

​​Dustin Hoofman - actor
Whinny Mandela - Nelson Mandela's wife
​Pegasus - Greek winged horse

Marco Polo - explorer
​Neighmar - footballer
​​Sylvester Stallion - actor

Leon Trotsky - revolutionary
​Bill Withers - musician

A Man Called Horse - Western
A Night Mare on Elm Street - horror
Blazing Saddles - comedy
​
Free Filly - spoiler: she escapes
​National Velvet - with Elizabeth Taylor
​Seven Bridles for Seven Brothers - everyone wants a bridle

The Mare of Casterbridge - period drama
​Two Mules for Sister Sara - Eastwood Western
Watergait - Nixon rides into deep water

I put a bet on a horse at 10 to 1
​It came in at half past three

What you doing with that horse manure?
Going to put it on my strawberries
Ugh, we put cream on ours

What's up?
This guy keeps calling me donkey.
Why does he do that?
I don't know.  He-haw, he-haw, he-hawlways calls me donkey.

What's got four legs, likes fillies and oats, leaves muck all over the place and is incredibly stupid?
Two politicians

eBray - second hand tack
FaceBit - catch up with horse friends
Instagait - horse selfies

OnlyHorses - good looking horses
Neighflix - horse movie time
Ponyterest - equine image boards

Reinddit - share equestrian links and chat
​Trotify - music on the move
Wikiponyia - horsey articles

YouTack - your best tacking up videos

A Horse With No Name - America
​Ballad of a Runaway Horse - EmmyLou Harris
​Crazy Horses - The Osmonds

​One Trick Pony - Paul Simon
White Horse - Taylor Swift
​Wild Horses - Rolling Stones

Some words for making your own horse puns.

​bit, bray, bridle, canter, colt, donkey, equine, filly, foal, furlong, gait, gallop, hack, harness, hay, hoof, horse, mane, mare, mule, neigh, oats, pony, reins, ride, saddle, stable, stallion, stirrup, tack, trot, whinny, whoa

After that amateur hack through a field of horse manure it is probably time to return this page to the stable.

Give it a good rub down and some fresh hay and it should be recovered by the time the next rider comes along.