Prison Puns

Got some time on your hands?


Perhaps, through no fault of your own, you have ended up with an all-expenses State funded holiday. Bed, board and three meals a day.


Let's while away a few minutes until the cake with a hacksaw in it arrives.

Puns

a man walked into a bar - guard tells a story
always gets the blame - escape goat
be wary of birds on chairs - might be stool pigeons

deaf prisoner waiting for his hearing
dream of breaking out - escape of good hope
fair justice - innocent till proven poor

jailed reporter got the inside scoop
married in prison - courting couple
mumbling prisoner needs to finish his sentence

soldier in prison - General Custardy
use a mobile in prison - cell phone
​useful trade in prison - locksmith
Prisoner marks off days on a cell wall. Holds chalk and a cup of coffee and has a small window offering a glimpse of the outside - sun, birds, tree. For people who feel they are trapped in a prison - work, study, relationship - or maybe are in an actual prison. Keep counting those days.

Prison Gifts >>

Expressions

If you can't do the time, don't do the crime
​Might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb

Famous Prisoners

​Stretch Armstrong - in for a long stretch
Nicolas Cage - actor
Norman Stanley Fletcher - Porridge sitcom​

Film and TV

Cool Hand Luke - ate a lot of eggs
Papillon - French convict on Devil's Island
​Prisoner Cell Block H - Australian TV series
​Shawshank Redemption - one of the great prison movies
Prisoner design shows an inmate holding the bars in their prison cell window and looking out. Will anyone let them out? An anti lockdown, anti prison, anti restriction graphic for the locked down generation.

Let Me Out Prisoner Gifts >>

Social Prisoners

eBail - find cheap lawyers
FaceBreak - stay in touch with friends on the outside
Instacrime - share pics of your exploits

LockedIn - check out careers while behind bars
​OnlyFines - glamor pics of life outside prison
Wickedpedia - where the real crooks hang out

Songs

30 Days In The Hole - Humble Pie

Back On The Chain Gang - Pretenders

Jail Guitar Doors - The Clash

​

Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley

San Quentin - Johnny Cash

Words for Making Prison Puns

A handy list of words for punning about prison. 

appeal, bail, bars, breakout, cage, cell, court, crime, custody, escape, fine, guard, guilty, hearing, innocent, inside, jail, lock, imprisonment, parole, prison, release, sentence, stretch, warden
Counting The Days design shows a prisoner marking off days on a cell wall. Holds a crayon and a cup of coffee and has a small window offering a glimpse of the outside - sun, birds, tree. For people who feel they are trapped in a prison of work, study, relationships or maybe are in an actual prison. Keep counting those days.

Counting The Days Gifts >>

Slopping Out Time

You are free to go.


Try to behave this time.


See you again soon!


Created by Mark Ewbie. Last Updated: September 5, 2025.