A page of puns, humor and cartoons about religion.

Religion has a lot to answer for in terms of wars and repression.

It also has a lot to be proud of.

God created the Heavens and Earth which is pretty cool.  Way more than scientists ever achieved and they are still trying to figure out how He did it.

Religion funded a lot of pretty buildings across the world - churches, mosques, synagogues.  The disagreements between beliefs helps to support the global arms industry.

This celebratory page attempts to respectfully find some humor and puns related to general religious stuff.

Amen to that and onward Christian Soldiers.

Or non Christian.  All are welcome.

barefoot bachelor - no socks before marriage
devil comes home to a note - "sinner's in the oven"
do atheists believe in atheism?

exercising priests - prayerobics
food at the altar - shrine and dine
historic Christian tourists - Crusaders

hungry in hell - what's for sinner?
insect at Mecca - mosque-ito
Islamic fruit drink - Sunni Delight

Jesus suffered for our sins so we are free to enjoy them
movies about crucifixion - cruciflix
overweight Islamist - fatwa

Pope's bank account - PrayPal
pray for answers because heaven knows
priest wore fake beard and a wig - gave a blessing in disguise

religious construction toy - Meccano
religious rabbit - bible thumper
respectful insect - praying mantis

satanic insect - evil weevil
​unholy shoes - got no souls

Hell is other people - Sartre
I can't believe it's not Buddha - advertising slogan

Bruce Almighty - Jim Carrey, Morgan Freeman
Dogma - angel comedy / drama
Life of Brian - Monty Python at their finest

​Papal Attraction - Pope boils a bunny for Lent

To prevent Fake News about this most important event here are some facts.

Adam, who was a decent bloke, was tempted by Eve and her ‘apple’.   Let’s not mess around here – we all know what the apple was.  Any red-blooded male would be sorely tempted by it.  That is why women get blamed for men’s actions.  It is what God wants.

Let’s not pretend that Eve was actually called Steve or Adam was even remotely interested.  He wouldn’t be.  That didn’t happen.

Nor were there two Eves because they might as well eat their own apples. Does a hot-dog contain two sausages?  No it does not.

Adam was not called Saddam and Eve did not offer him a kebab.  They were in the Garden of Eden not Tottenham High Street.

Charlotte Church - singer, activist
God - Father of Jesus
​Jesus - Son of God
​
Evel Knievel - motorcycle stunt rider
Madonna - old singer
Muhammad - founder of Islam

​​Shirley Temple - singer, actress, diplomat

Science blasphemists squeal excitedly about religion, evolution and the dinosaurs. 

They accuse the Bible of not being an entirely accurate technical manual.  Not Gospel in their words,

However, their false argument about the dinosaurs needs revising.

Noah had a very big boat and he saved a lot of the animals.

He did not have unlimited space on the Ark.  He set quotas like our governments are fond of doing.  Save the attractive rich ones and leave the others to their fate.

The dinosaurs, along with the Giant Worm and the Huge Hamster, were sadly left behind.

ePray - secondhand sermons
FaithBook - share your beliefs with friends
Godgle - search for answers

InstaKarma - influencers try to attract followers
LinkedSin - careers for chasing the money god
Net666 - movies from the devil

​OnlyPopes - for fans of Pope pictures
Painterest - create your fun suffering boards
Repentit - like Reddit but with shame

SnapChastise - morality pics with captions
Spiritify - music while you reflect
Sinder - hookup swiping for sinners

Wickedpedia - for all the evil in the world
YouTestament - video teachings

There are a lot of hymns and chanting connected with religious movements but this section aims to find more modern popular culture references.

​Highway to Hell - AC/DC
​I Got You Babe - Sunni and Shia
​Instant Karma - John Lennon

Karma Chameleon - Culture Club
My Sweet Lord - George Harrison
Spirit in the Sky - Norman Greenbaum

​Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin
​Sympathy for the Devil - Rolling Stones
The Devil Went Down to Georgia - Charlie Daniels Band

Here are some handy words for religious punning.

​angel, atheist, belief, bible, bless, church, devil, divine, evil, faith, god, heaven, hell, holy, hymn, karma, kneel, lord, mecca, mosque, pilgrim, pope, pray, priest, religion, repent, Satan, shrine, sin, soul, spirit, synagogue, temple, vicar  

Thank goodness the sermon is over.

I was dozing off when he was talking about all people being created equal.  What a silly idea.

As for throwing the money-lenders out of the temple.  No wonder they got fed up with Jesus.

On the subject of money, please put a small (or large) offering in the collection box as it comes round.

See you next Sunday.