Here is a page of funny, cute or clever puns about the Tories.  Aiming to be original and humorous with some fun illustrations too.

I guess this page is more likely to be accessed by people of a left wing persuasion in order to laugh at the Tories.

That's fine, but let me assure you, as a professional punster these are delivered without a political bias.

Apart from hating the Tories of course.

But to be honest, I hate most politicians.  There are a few decent ones.  Not many.

Anyhow, here's some Tory puns.

bull fighting Tories - toryadors
cheap holiday - Torymolinos
​dancing Tory - gyratory

how to make a little extra - cash for questions
leave your Rolls Royce in a multi-tory car park
make use of a Tory member - suppository

party discipline is a problem for Tories - they like the whip a little too much
poor driving skills - no left turns
rubbish football team - everyone is on the right wing

​the day Tories pretend to care about the voters - Election day
​Tory superhero - Con Man
trickle-down theory supported by incontinent Tories

useful Tory - lavatory
what do you call a criminal Tory? - Lord or Sir
​​where Tories concoct their manifesto - laboratory

bribe goes before a fall - if you get caught that is
where there's muck there's Tories - snouts in troughs usually

Jonathan Aitken - priest, convicted criminal
​Tori Amos - singer
Jeffrey Archer - novelist, convicted criminal

Neil Hamilton - cash for questions
Baroness Mone - got nothing to moan about
Helen of Tory - launched ships with her face

​Peter Viggers - duck moat expenses

Cash Me If You Can - entertaining thriller about a criminal swindler
​Con Club - what happens in Con Club stays in, etc.
​Love Tory - love turns to tragedy, just like the real thing

What do you call a Tory with an IQ of 75?
Minister
What do you call a Tory with an IQ of 50?
Prime Minister

How can you tell when a Tory is lying?
When his mouth is open

ClinkedIn - networking for disgraced ex-ministers
eBlue - for recycled policies
FaceCrook - facetime your favorite Tory crooks

Instagrant - take photos of holidays paid for from taxpayer funds
Nobflix - for posh films
​OnlyTories - top politicians get their kit off

Predditor - like Reddit but for bent Tories
Wickedpedia - check history of Tory wrongdoings

Bloody Well Right - Supertramp
Smooth Criminal - Michael Jackson
​True Blue - Madonna
Wipeout - The Ventures

Here are some handy words for making puns about the Tory party.

conservative, manifesto, politics, right, right wing, tories, tory, true-blue

Thanks for visiting.

Parliament is now closed so we can all take ten weeks holiday, paid for by the taxpayer, the arms industry or pharmaceutical companies.

​See you next time your vote is needed!