A collection of wine puns, jokes and other humorous wordplay relating to grapes, wine-making and most importantly, wine-consuming.

As you sip a fine vintage in some pleasant company what better way to engage in sparkling conversation than with the help of some fine puns from an exceptional year.

This is a page for the wine buff, connoisseur and enthusiast.  It has been aging on the internet, put aside for the day it reaches full potential.

Let's pop the cork, pretend we have half an idea about wine, and relax with a pun or two.

​Here they are.

a meter of grapes - vine yard
a bottle and a book - Grape Expectations
bearded drinker - hicster

congratulate sommelier on his stellar cellar
drink wine, don't stay bottled up
​German sommelier - enjoy die vine

glass to rude bottle - wind your neck in
horse drinks wine - champagne at the bit
​Irish wine excursion starts with Cork

je t'adore mon sherry
​my wine is my raisin d'etre
only stale bread? - I propose a toast

​pour favor, one more glass
raise a glass to champagne socialists
Rose blushed when the Savignon Blanced her

vinegar cat - sourpuss
wine in the sun - tannin
​winemaker exercise - aromabics

Any port in a storm - when times are tough anything will do
Bottled it - failed under pressure
​Don't put new wine in old bottles - valuable Biblical advice

Glass half-empty - time for a top up
​Pop my cork - go crazy
Put a cork in it - tell someone to stop talking

​Sour grapes - unpleasant outcome leaves a bad taste in the mouth
​There's many a sip 'twixt the glass and the lip
​Wine o'clock - time to start drinking

Grapes of Wrath - Great Depression 
​Magnum Force - Dirty Harry
Sommelier Like It Hot - mulled wine appreciation
​
The Grape Escape - World Wine II

Sandro Bottlecelli - artist
​Vin Diesel - actor
Bucks Fizz - Eurovision pop

Harvey Wine Stain - Hollywood producer
​Amy Winehouse - singer
Jack White - musician

ClinkedIn - find new careers in viticulture
Instagrape - share pictures of wine
OffMyFaceBook - social drinking

OnlyWines - look at those beautiful bottles
Schnappschat - tell your friends
Treaddit - links for winemakers

​​Vine - short videos from the vineyard
​Vitipedia - all you need to know

I Heard It Through The Grapevine - Marvin Gaye
​Red Red Wine - UB40
Riesling's To Be Cheerful - Ian Dury & The Blockheads
​
​Ten Green Bottles

The title gives it away but if you have forgotten, or never seen, a fun sketch asks what the Roman's did for the people.

What Have The Roman's Ever Done For Us - Monty Python

George of Clarence died in a vat of Malmsey wine - 1478

Some handy words and terms for punning.

aroma, bottle, cask, cellar, champagne, chateau, clink, cork, corkscrew, drink, dry, ferment, grape, magnum, neck, port, pour, red, riesling, rose, sherry, sip, sweet, tannin, toast, vine, vineyard, viniculture, white, wine, winemaker

There was a slightly bitter taste which quickly improved as this web page went down.

Unfortunately it is now finished.

Time to place the glasses in the sink for the kitchen fairy to tidy up and consider your next move.

Will it be the white, or the red?  Decisions, decisions.

​Cheers.