Welcome to a collection of anti-woke witty puns, clever humor, and a whole lot more besides. Packed with original humor and interesting facts, quotes, and trivia, this page is sure to bring a smile to your face.

Those of a sensitive disposition should look away now.

calculating amount of woke - triggernometry
coat of many feelings - woke cloak
​collective term for gays - a pride

don't take offence - take a gate
ex-customers of woke companies identify as non-buy-nary
favorite part of a movie - when it's cancelled

favorite tree - Mighty Woak
freedom fighter - social injustice warrior
freedom for insects - flea speech

guns have less triggers than liberals
insomniac - always woke
not all heroes stay woke—some prefer to sleep in

​numb the pain - wocaine
pro nouns - anti adjectives
rhymes with woke - joke

​royal residence - Wokingham Palace
​safe drink - Woka-Cola
​safe information - Wokipedia

sleep - the ultimate act of resistance against wokeness
the only thing woke in my house is the alarm clock
trans teacher - Miss Gender

​​where wokes live - Wokelahoma
​woke mathematician - non binary
​​​woke wolf - aware wolf

1984 by George Orwell - A dystopian novel that warns against extreme political correctness and thought control.
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley - Explores a society where conformity is enforced, echoing modern woke culture.
The Coddling of the American Mind by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt - Discusses the dangers of overprotecting young minds from challenging ideas.
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Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury - A novel about censorship, relevant to debates around woke cancel culture.
Woke Inc. by Vivek Ramaswamy - Critiques the corporate world’s embrace of woke culture.
​The Madness of Crowds by Douglas Murray - Explores the rise of identity politics and woke ideologies.

if at first you don't succeed - blame it on the patriarchy
it takes a lot of snowflakes to make a snowman
let sleeping wokes lie

my truth - lies
pride goes before a fall - what goes around, comes around
​safety first - freedom second

stay woke and keep missing the point
woke up on the wrong side of common sense
you snooze, you win—at least you’re not woke

Ben Shapiro - Known for his sharp critiques of woke culture.
Elon Musk - Frequently mocks wokeness on social media.
Joe Rogan - Often challenges woke narratives on his podcast.
​
Jordan Peterson - A vocal critic of compelled speech and woke ideologies.
Ricky Gervais - Uses comedy to highlight the absurdities of being overly woke.
J.K. Rowling - Criticized woke culture, sparking major controversies.

Idiocracy - A satirical film that imagines a future where wokeness takes over common sense.
Team America: World Police - A no-holds-barred satire that mocks woke ideologies.
Blazing Saddles - A comedy that could never be made in today’s woke climate.

South Park - The animated series regularly lampoons woke culture and political correctness.
​The Office - Known for its humor that would be considered “problematic” by woke standards today. The Interview - A comedy that pokes fun at censorship and the dangers of taking oneself too seriously.*

These are approved media sites where woke commentary is encouraged.
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Disinterest - boards of inspirational quotes
eBLM - last years protest bargains
​FacePalm - the social media site for when woke goes too far

InstaWoke - where virtue signaling is just a filter awa
LinkedOut - networking for those who’ve been canceled
MeTube - all about my truth videos

Notflix - no fun movies allowed
​OnlySJWs - glamor land whale pics
RedditUnwoke - the place to discuss everything that’s not politically correct.

SnapCringe - for all the woke fails you can’t believe actually happened.
SpaceBook - share feelings in a safe space
Trigger - swipe right for your perfect match

Tik/Tok - share your pronouns
TikTokCancel - short clips of the latest people to be called out by the woke crowd.
​Wokeify - safe music to soothe you

Wokipedia - all the triggers you need to learn

Cancel Culture - The practice of shaming or boycotting someone for not being woke enough.
Safe Space - An ironically exclusive environment where only woke opinions are welcome.
Snowflake - A term for someone easily offended by anything that isn’t woke.
​
Virtue Signaling - Publicly declaring one’s wokeness, often to gain social approval.
Woke Warrior - Someone who aggressively enforces woke culture, often online.

Why did the woke person stop going to the gym? They couldn’t handle the heavy lifting of reality!
I’m so woke, I canceled myself before anyone else could!
What’s a woke person’s favorite type of bread? White guilt toast!

Why don’t woke people tell jokes? They can’t handle the punchlines!
I told my woke friend to get over it—they’re still recovering from the microaggression.
What do you call a woke dog? A virtue signaling pooch!

"Woke people are like alarm clocks—they make a lot of noise but don't really do anything." – Ricky Gervais
"You can't stay woke forever; eventually, you have to sleep." – Jordan Peterson
"Wokeness is just a new word for pretending to care." – Joe Rogan

"The road to woke is paved with good intentions." – Unknown
"Being woke means never having to say you're sorry—until the mob comes for you." – Anonymous
"Woke isn’t just a word; it’s a way to shut down conversations." – Ben Shapiro

Go Woke Go Broke - Jokes on Wokes (language!)
Lola - The Kinks
​Over the Rainbow - Judy Garland

“Sweet Woke Alabama” – Lynyrd Skynyrd
​Wocaine - JJ Cale
Wolk Salad Annie - Elvis

“Woke Me Up Before You Go-Go” – Wham!
“Woke This Way” – Aerosmith
Woke on the Water - Deep Purple

It is open season on snowflakes - the insult du jour for some.  Seems odd that a generation would want to criticize their own children.  Hey ho.  Here are a few handy snowflake derivative puns.

broflake - he knows what's going down
glowflake - nuke 'em
noflake - let's not accept any new thinking

proflake - the professionally outraged
slowflake - an older person
toeflake - ew
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woeflake - it's the end of the world as we know it

Some Woke Clown World terminology to help you be more aware.

Or for making puns.

antifa - protect our freedoms by shutting down free speech
based - not woke.  Ever wonder if the world's gone mad?
binary - we used to have men and women

cancel culture - only approved thoughts allowed
Cis - someone whose gender identity corresponds with their gender
equity - equality of outcome, not origin

gaslighting - saying stuff that is triggering for the recipient
misgender - when you assume that the man in a dress is a man
patriarchy - old white men are the cause of all problems

pronouns - place your preferred pronouns on a badge - he/him, she/they, etc.
sjw - social justice warrior
snowflake - general slur for those who are perceived as being too woke

toxic - male, masculinity
trigger - when words produce a state of shock.  See trigger warnings applied to media content such as old books and films

Thanks for resisting the urge to cancel us! We hope you enjoyed this page full of anti-woke puns and insights. Remember, it’s okay to laugh at the absurdities—just don’t get canceled for it!

And now you have been briefly awakened, it is time to gently relax back into the internet.  Avoid all areas where Woke is mentioned and you should have a restful non-triggering time.

If you liked this page you might like this long satirical read - Winnie The Pooh Goes Woke

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